What helps
Pick a calm moment. Choose a time when they're sober and you're not furious. A talk in the middle of a fight, or while they're drunk or high, mostly gets forgotten or fought.
Say what you've seen, not what you think of them. "I've noticed you've been drinking most nights and missing work, and I'm worried" lands very differently from "You're a drunk." Specific and caring beats general and angry.
Offer one small next step. Going with them to the doctor, or calling the Alberta Addiction Helpline together, is easier to say yes to than "you need to get help." A small yes is how most people start.
Keep the door open. Many people need to hear it more than once before they're ready. Pressure and shame rarely work, and steady, patient support helps more.
Ask a counsellor about CRAFT. It stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training. It's a structured approach built for families, it teaches you how to talk and respond in ways that make change more likely, and in research it gets more people into treatment than confrontation-style interventions. The Alberta Addiction Helpline can point you to someone who offers it or something like it.
Notice the small wins out loud. A day clear, a hard conversation, a call for help. People repeat what gets noticed.
What doesn't
Lecturing or fighting while they're using. They won't remember it, and it digs everyone in deeper.
Ultimatums you won't keep. "Next time I'm leaving" teaches them your words don't mean anything. Only say what you will actually do.
Shielding them from every consequence. Calling in sick for them, covering their debts, cleaning up every mess can keep things exactly the same. Where it is safe, let the consequences land on them, and be kind while it happens.
Shame and labels. "Junkie," "alcoholic," "loser." Shame feeds the cycle it's meant to break.
Trying to do their recovery for them. You can support it. You can't carry it.
Forcing someone to quit cold. For some substances that is dangerous. See the next section.
Staying safe
Withdrawal can kill. Don't push someone who drinks heavily every day, or who takes benzodiazepines or sleeping pills, to stop suddenly. Withdrawal from alcohol and from benzodiazepines can cause seizures. Get a doctor involved first, and call 911 for a seizure, confusion or hallucinations.
Know the signs of an opioid overdose. They can't be woken up, their breathing is slow or has stopped, their lips are blue or grey, or they're making a gurgling sound. Call 911, give naloxone if you have it, and stay with them. Canada's Good Samaritan law protects the person who calls 911 for an overdose from being charged for simple possession.
Get naloxone before you need it. Free kits are available at more than 2,000 pharmacies and community organizations across Alberta. From October 1, 2026, pharmacies ask for a personal health number, and community organizations don't. Kits expire, so check the date. Find a site near you.
If they talk about suicide, ask directly. "Are you thinking about ending your life?" Asking does not plant the idea. Stay with them, keep them away from anything they could use, and call or text 988, or call 911.
If you're ever afraid of them, that comes first. Being hurt, threatened or controlled is more important than their recovery. The Alberta Family Violence Info Line is free, anonymous and open 24 hours. Call 911 if you are in danger.
Looking after you
Living with someone's addiction wears you down in ways you may not notice until you're empty. You're allowed to need support too, and you don't have to wait until things are better to ask for it.
Find people who've been there. Al-Anon is for people affected by someone else's drinking. Nar-Anon is for people affected by someone else's drug use. SMART Recovery Family and Friends offers a different, skills-based approach. All of them run online meetings.
Call the helpline for yourself. The Alberta Addiction Helpline is free, confidential and open 24 hours. Alberta Health Services says its supports include help for the family and friends of people who use substances.
Talk to someone one-on-one. A counsellor of your own is not a luxury. 211 Alberta can point you to services near you, and if there are kids in the house, Kids Help Phone is for them too.
Keep the basics. Sleep, real food, and at least one person who lets you say how bad it is.
Want to understand what they're going through? How addiction works explains what each substance and behaviour does and why it's so hard to stop. The "How do I help someone who won't admit they have a problem?" question there is a good place to start.